Saturday, December 31, 2011

New year's resolutions

1. Open a bottle of champagne with a sword
2. Not kill myself while attempting #1
3. Keep up the great bangs
4. Learn how to play the ukulele
5. More writing, kissing, and cooking

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Fun, memorable lines from holiday movies

1. "Kevin, you're such a disease."
2. "I just like to smile. Smiling's my favorite."
3. "There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?"
4. "It's like the Michael Bolton starter kit."  
5. "I knew you weren't suited for literature."

Wishing you and yours a happy and heartfelt end of the fiscal fourth quarter.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Dead dreamboats

1. Marlon Brando

2. Frank Sinatra

3. Henry James

4. Jack Kerouac

5. Elvis Presley

Monday, October 24, 2011

Top ten pet peeves

1. Wet socks
2. Yellow cars
3. Icy sidewalks
4. Biblical literalism
5. Sloppy collars
6. Sloppy kisses
7. Inconsideration
8. Lack of foresight
9. Sneezes that get stuck
10. Not having superpowers

Friday, October 21, 2011

Advice from Ludacris songs

1. On life: "You gotta play hard or go home."
2. On women: "They want to talk to you, so shut up and listen."
3. On men: "[They] want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed."
4. On discretion: "In the library on top of the books but you can't be too loud."
5. On what others think about you: "Don't worry about them haters."
6. On serious problems: "Money can't solve 'em."

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Solid gold life philosophies in 15 words or less

1. Live on purpose. Pay attention. Savor the everyday moments and details.
2. Prioritize balance. Set aside time for fun. Laugh, think, and read often.
3. If you can't have a good time, have a good story.
4. Keep your head in the clouds and your feet on the ground. You need both.
5. If there's a way to make it with cheese, then make it with cheese.
6. Time helps - but it's best friends, catharsis, and dogs that heal all wounds.
7. Be the best version of yourself and encourage others to do the same.
8. Be confident. Figure out how to let go of your issues and shine. Start now.
9. Know your values. Have expectations. Use them to cultivate a good life.
10. Positivity is contagious but so are zombie viruses. Choose what you spread wisely.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Top ten roots of all problems, ever

1. Excess
2. Extremism
3. Not thinking
4. Not listening
5. Not paying attention
6. Stunted emotional literacy
7. Refusing to grow up
8. Impatience
9. Stubbornness
10. Being an asshole

Friday, July 15, 2011

Soundtrack of summer 2011

1. "Do You Love Me", Guster
2. "Ready to Start", Arcade Fire
3. "Pumped Up Kicks", Foster The People
4. "Walking the Dog", Fun
5. "Little Secrets", Passion Pit
6. "Butch", Saint Motel
7. "Collarbone", Fujiya & Miyagi
8. "Shadow People", Dr. Dog
9. "Excuses", The Morning Benders
10. "Pieces of the People We Love", The Rapture
11. "From Above", Ben Folds ft. Nick Hornby
12. "Will Do", TV On The Radio
13. "Cameras", Matt & Kim
14. "Under Cover of Darkness", The Strokes
15. "Ready for the Floor", Hot Chip
16. "Felicia", The Constellations
17. "Graveyard Girl", M83
18. "Last Dance", The Raveonettes
19. "Shell Games", Bright Eyes
20. "Second Chance", Peter Bjorn and John
21. "Something Good Can Work", Two Door Cinema Club

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Simple pleasures

1. Cadbury Mini Eggs
2. Morning stretches
3. Flirting
4. Bright colors
5. Happy dogs
6. Angry Birds
7. Long weekends
8. Symmetry
9. Semicolons
10. Strong wi-fi

Monday, June 13, 2011

What happens to me when I have a crush

1. Acquire heartbeat that sounds like a garbled Postal Service song
2. Endure large, unrelenting waves of acute nausea
3. Lose time to sprawling, hypothetical, cinematic daydreams
4. Get the "tipped your chair back too far" cold sweats
5. Do complicated pep talks with myself in bathroom mirrors

Life is sweeter thanks to

1. Q-tips
2. Books
3. Boats
4. Nectarines
5. Best friends

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Find your meet cute: romantic public spaces that are buzzing with possibility

1. Park benches
2. City bridges, esp. in the middle
3. Cozy bookstores
4. Quiet libraries
5. Bustling coffee shops
6. Elevators, trains, planes
7. Street corners, stoplights, crosswalks
8. Bakeries, fromageries, grocery lines
9. Museums & galleries
10. Popular dog parks
11. Anywhere with your dog, really
12. Intimate concerts or small shows
13. Markets: farmer's, flea, antique
14. The shores of any lake, river, or ocean
15. And - of course! - the internet

Honorable mentions: festivals, weddings, patios, bike racks, boardwalks, rooftops, and standing with awe in front of beautiful old buildings

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Everyone's life could use more

1. Badminton
2. Waffle fries
3. Fun for fun's sake
4. Intelligent debate
5. Excuses to dress up
6. Puppies
7. Patience
8. Romance
9. Rollerblading
10. Crème brûlée
11. Spontaneous getaways

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Things that exist solely to be annoying, give you grief, or otherwise make life difficult

1. Annotated bibliographies
2. Email forwards
3. The TSA
4. Icy sidewalks
5. Ruthless humidity
6. Imaginary numbers
7. Imaginary gender norms
8. Hindsight
9. Dairy allergies
10. Canada's electoral system

Things I should never do right before I go to bed but do anyway and then end up with a big existential hangover the next day

1. Listen to sad Smiths songs
2. Watch old clips of Grey's Anatomy
3. Contemplate what my future holds
4. Make abrupt hair decisions re: bangs
5. Lose all sensible filters re: conversation
6. Reminisce about ANYTHING
7. Try to make important life choices
8. Read Jeanette Winterson quotes
9. Ruminate over ideology of courtly love
10. Listen to more sad Smiths songs

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Cultural concepts, literary theory, and art movements that I love to nerd out about

1. Steampunk
2. Retrofuturism
3. Art Nouveau
4. Art Deco
5. Victorian Gothic
6. Impressionism
7. Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood
8. Cultural Materialism
9. Postmodernism
10. Dystopia & the Apocalyptic

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Things I want to bring back to life

1. High fives
2. Frisbees
3. Mix tapes
4. Side ponytails
5. Grandfather clocks
6. Handwritten letters
7. Board games
8. Courtship
9. Tea parties
10. Boomboxes

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Sexy things that are deeply underappreciated or not as loved and lauded as they should be

1. Intelligence
2. Toe cleavage
3. A good haircut
4. Anticipation
5. Knowing yourself & others well
6. Courage
7. Thoughtfulness
8. Nibbling
9. Cultural & literary prowess
10. Not having a crippling Peter Pan complex

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Monday, April 4, 2011

I often wonder what the deal is with

1. Always ending up walking behind the slowest person on a stairway, especially before/after work
2. The way that traffic, without fail, slows to a standstill the second you change lanes
3. People thinking amazing things about each other all the time but not saying them outloud
4. Broken kitchen appliances working perfectly only when trying to demonstrate their failures to others
5. Right-handed desks and the heinous tyranny of the majority - THROW SOUTHPAWS A BONE

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Places I really want to visit but can't because they're historical

1. Romantic & Victorian England
2. 19th century New York City
3. Any place at all during the 19th century, really
4. Early 20th century San Francisco & Seattle
5. Primeval Bavarian forests
6. Rome before the fall
7. Russia after the Revolution
8. Renaissance Florence for the art
9. The Jurassic Period for the dinosaurs
10. 1960s France for the theorists

Monday, March 28, 2011

Fantastic expressions and descriptive phrases we should all endeavor to use more often

1. Den of iniquity
2. Halcyon
3. Thick as thieves
4. I bite my thumb at you
5. Fin-de-siècle
6. Little death
7. Doppelgänger
8. That's whack
9. Barbaric yawp
10. L'esprit de l'escalier

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Hands down, I am definitely the best at

1. Writing (and speaking) heartfelt manifestos
2. Being a good sport
3. Coming up with elaborate but apt analogies
4. Surprising you by rapping like a gangsta
5. Collecting scarves
6. Chasing sunbeams
7. Holding torches

Friday, March 25, 2011

Places I really want to visit but can't because they're fictional

1. Camelot
2. Narnia
3. Mythological Cythera
4. Dante's Inferno (especially circle two)
5. Yoshi's Island
6. The Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Monday, March 21, 2011

Things I love without complication

1. Headbands
2. Cheese
3. Velociraptors
4. HBO
5. Bangs
6. Cardigans
7. Making out
8. John Cusack
9. Retro slang
10. Vindication